Living Without Regrets

When you’re on your deathbed don’t let the story of your life begin like this;

I wish…

Most people are scared to die because of regrets… I wish I had; I wish I hadn’t; I wish I could have; I wish someone would… We tell ourselves every day that we can’t do what we want to do (or we’ve done what we’ve done) because the timing wasn’t right.

IMG_5230I posted this image on Instagram and Facebook a while back and some of the responses I received were, “I’m not afraid to die, or I’m not scared of death.”  then you are fully living.”

“Then you are the rare few that are fully living,” I said.

But it made me think; I wasn’t talking about people being afraid to die – I was talking about people living (and then dying) with regrets.

Most days we navigate on auto-pilot, telling ourselves we are doing what we need to do to survive, or that we don’t have enough time to make the “big moves,” necessary to do what we want. Watching TV for 60 minutes – instead of painting, creating, researching, talking… is that surviving? I’m pretty sure you can do a lot in 60 minutes. Things that would lead to down the path of getting what you want. Success stories aren’t based on a miraculous things happening all of a sudden, they are based on people creating situations because they manage their time well.

That little kid inside you who knew when she grew up she was going to be great… is not surviving. She could have grown stronger if you fed her flame but instead, you got distracted by a funny cat video.  We think we will have all the time in the world to do what we want to do. “How is a cat video hurting me,” you ask.

It’s not hurting YOU; it’s hurting the person you could become!

“Do what you love, be who you are… so if your life were to end tomorrow your story won’t start with, I WISH.” (Tweet This)


(Image Courtesy of: https://www.flickr.com/photos/benperrin/https://www.flickr.com/photos/benperrin/)

Is There a Difference Between Opinion and Judgment?

I found myself in a discussion this morning during which I said, “It’s my opinion, not a judgment,” and it made me wonder – is there a difference?

I posed the question on my Facebook and got some really great answers.

“This just really got me thinking. I feel like maybe the judgment is caused by the opinion? So like my opinion is people should be free to marry who they love and my judgment is that anyone who thinks differently is an asshole.” Hannah responded.

So let me ask you:

Can you have an opinion about something and it not be considered judgment?

Let’s consider for a moment what it means to have an opinion. An opinion is based on your view of something which is not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. So, like Hannah stated above, it is quite similar to a feeling. That’s opinion.

To make a judgment on something means to come to a conclusion sensibly. The term common sense comes to mind when considering judgment. Hence, the title of Judge – he or she determines one’s sentencing based on the findings of the facts. So, that’s judgment. (As defined by Wikipedia: “the evaluation of evidence to make a decision.”)

(Side note: at what point did we start implying that judgment was in poor form – like, “being judgmental?” I have a feeling that’s another blog for another time!)

So judgment is based on facts, and therefore should not be based on emotions.

Yesterday I went on a mini-rant on my Facebook page about the classroom process for Valentine’s cards in my daughter’s kindergarten class. Instead of having the kids pick out specific cards for their classmates they were instructed just to sign their names. That way, “they can be distributed evenly.” I got a lot of supportive responses save for one. It was a kindergarten teacher who explained to me why that process exists. It was nice to hear her perspective but she ended her comment with:

“I usually ignore rants, however, as an experienced kindergarten teacher I have to suggest that next year you volunteer in the classroom to help pass out cards before you judge the teacher or accuse her of ‘taking away everything fun.’ ”

I didn’t feel I was making a judgment.

But what do you think? Is there a difference between opinion and judgment? Tell me your thoughts below!


(Image Courtesy of https://www.flickr.com/photos/andrewmalone/)

How Feelings Determine Your Happiness, and Not The Other Way Around

What came first:

THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?

I read an article recently that proposed a similar question only it wasn’t about food; it was about our success…

What comes first:

HAPPINESS OR SUCCESS?

I’m sure if I were to take a poll, we’d be sitting at 50/50 – but I want to explain why it’s critical that we all subscribe to the same answer:

If happiness doesn’t come first, success is fleeting.

No matter how successful we become, if we are not happy independently of that success, eventually we will find a way to discredit even the most esteemed successes.

WHY DO WE SET GOALS?

We set them because we want to be successful – we want to HAVE, POSSES or BE something… but beyond that…we want to feel a certain way.

The desire for an emotion is far greater than the desire for the actual thing. (Tweet This)

We want to feel [insert emotion here]. Examples: happy, confident, connected, inspired….

So why do we wait? Why do we put off being happy, confident and contected? Why do we believe that until we have, possess or are something we don’t get to feel the way we want to feel.

Let’s say you want to back a cake…you need ingredients first: you need the sugar, the flour, and the eggs. Once you have all of those items together, along with your efforts, you are able to produce the cake. Your feelings are the ingredients you need to produce your happiness.

WHAT IF WE LIVED WITH DELIBERATE HAPPINESS?

I have this system at work. It’s an automated system that runs every hour. Each hour it pulls documents from a folder that resides on a server. The folder contains orders that have been entered by outside sales reps. The system will pull anything in the folder. It doesn’t know (or care) if the orders are entered correctly; it pulls the order because it’s what’s in the folder. Which in turn drops into our system, and we on the inside carry out the demands of the order. If the order is entered incorrectly – then the product is produced incorrectly.

That’s what the universe does; the universe scans your folder (which in your case contains feelings and vibrations instead of orders) and whatever it finds it uses as ingredients to construct the situations and circumstances of your life. So why on earth would you give the universe bad ingredients?

BAD INGREDIENTS = BAD CIRCUMSTANCES

In every possible moment of the day we need to be thinking about, and feeling the way we hope to feel once we “get what we want,” because…

It’s highly likely that if we FEEL the way we want to feel…the byproduct of that feeling will be the realization of the thing we want. 


(Image Courtesy of: https://www.flickr.com/photos/thebokeeffect/)

10 Inspiring Life Lessons by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Dr. Wayne Dyer has been a beacon in my life for a few years. His words of wisdom have guided me through tough times, internally and externally. I credit him with helping me see that not everything in life has to be so serious. After his passing, he’s still inspiring me! I recently re-read 10 Inspiring Life Lessons We Can Learn From Wayne Dyer over at LifeHack and I’m reassured that his message will stay with me, even though he is gone.

4. Only you can change your life

“If love and joy are what you want to give and receive, change your life by changing what’s inside.”

“Be the change you want to see.”

“How others treat me is their path, how I react is mine.”

“Everyone is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

“You must be what it is you’re seeking – that is, you need to put forth what you want to attract.”

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”

These were my favorite – funny how they all fell under the category: Only You Can Change Your Life. 

Go forth today and remember:

You are the only one who has the power to change how you are currently reacting to the situations and circumstances in you life. I personally believe we can control the circumstances and situations that are happening, but if you don’t – then you must remember…it’s up to you to control how you react to them.

– Pieces of Happiness

How to Become a Success

Happy New Year everybody! I hope you had a restful, rejuvenating holiday filled with reflection and contemplation. Now, let’s stop analyzing and get out there and make 2017 the best, most LIVED year of our lives!

Let’s get started!!!! I’ve devised what I call THE PRINCIPLES OF PROGRESS for 2017. Stay tuned this year for more in this series on how to make your dream come true.


The first step to success is being able to define success. What does it mean to YOU?

The second step is being able to see yourself doing/having/being the things you associate with success.

The third step is the belief that you are all of those things already.

Then, when you least expect it a person, a situation, an opportunity will show up in your life – not just as a coincidental happenstance, but as a guide. Think of this person, situation or opportunity as your boarding pass – it gets you on the train towards your destination.

If you are a person who believes in hard work and action – then listen up:

THAT IS YOUR ACTION

Take the ticket, board the train – wherever you end up, do whatever it is you have to do to keep coasting down the tracks.

Once upon a time trains didn’t move unless there was coal in the furnace… your actions are the coals in the furnace, the fuel to the fire.

 DEFINE. ENVISION. BELIEVE. ACTION.


(Image Courtesy of: https://www.flickr.com/photos/pustovit/)

30 Minutes to a Happier Marriage

How often do you come home from work, plop yourself down on the couch, and proceed to disconnect from the world? Your spouse was hoping to talk to you, your children are chanting your name and your answer is, “just give me a minute!”

Don’t they understand you’ve had a rough day and you don’t want to think about anything?  You just want to distract your mind by scanning through Facebook posts, Twitter feeds, and websites until you’ve gained your sanity back. Before you know it you’ve dwindled away an hour of your time, but you’re feeling recharged. NOW YOU ARE READY TO ENGAGE. Except now your spouse is busy and doesn’t have time for YOU and your kids are off playing, or at a friends house.

What do you think that does to your relationship?

Lifestyle website YourTango.com polled 100 mental health professionals and found that communication problems are the most common factor that leads to divorce (65 percent), followed by couples’ inability to resolve conflict (43 percent).

Want to stay more connected to your spouse but don’t want to lose your sanity? Follow this basic trick to help you see how putting your spouse first can be the best medicine for that crummy day. (And if it’s not, at least you’ll be able to go back to mindless stuff afterward)

I call it Thirty for Three, Three for Thirty and here’s how it works:

Thirty for Three – If you are separated from your significant other for more than three hours – you owe them thirty uninterrupted minutes .

Three for Thirty – As soon as you are in each other’s company again you must make it a point to be within three feet of each other, for thirty minutes.

A couple things to point out:

  1. These 30 minutes of time do not add up – you do not get an hour for six hours of separation – it only applies if you’ve been apart for three hours or more.
  2. If it isn’t possible to be within three feet of your spouse the minute you see them again, you can schedule it for later in the day, but remember: the success of the exercise weighs heavily on whether or not you are around each other the minute you are together again.
  3. I should mention: these 30 minutes should be TV, Computer, and Phone free – just you and your significant other – uninterrupted.
You can use these thirty minutes to talk about vacations, dreams, jokes you heard, things you’ve wanted to tell your spouse but just haven’t found the right time. Tell them how much they mean to you, show them how much you care.

Image Courtesy of https://www.flickr.com/photos/126193407@N07/

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Extend the Life of Your Happiness

Think about how quick we are, when we’re angry, to share that story with our friends. We think it helps us get through the situation – but really – all we are doing is EXTENDING THE LIFE OF OUR ANGER. Think of it like a flame. The more we feed the fire, the bigger it gets.

Now think about how often you get really excited about something but you’re too scared to share it with others?  Why don’t we share it? Why don’t we let people get excited with us?

SHARE IT. LET OTHERS FEEL YOUR EXCITEMENT.

Let’s work to extend the life of our happiness instead of our anger.

I believe there is a part of us that becomes whatever emotion is conveyed to us when we converse with other people. We become what others are willing to share.

Think of it as a gift; what gift are you giving?

Happiness and Excitement, or Anger and Frustration? 

I have shied away from telling people about my excitement. I’m not sure how they will react. But if people react negatively to something positive that you are sharing, it could be because they don’t have anything in their lives right now that makes them feel the way you are feeling. Or they don’t understand. That’s okay! It’s not your job to make them understand, it’s your job to be happy and to share that with others.

Learning to be impenetrable by negative emotions, but impacted by positive ones is a lofty challenge. We are what we say. Right? So start talking… about what makes you happy!

The world needs it!


Image courtesy of: https://www.flickr.com/photos/wewiorka/

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