30 Minutes to a Happier Marriage

How often do you come home from work, plop yourself down on the couch, and proceed to disconnect from the world? Your spouse was hoping to talk to you, your children are chanting your name and your answer is, “just give me a minute!”

Don’t they understand you’ve had a rough day and you don’t want to think about anything?  You just want to distract your mind by scanning through Facebook posts, Twitter feeds, and websites until you’ve gained your sanity back. Before you know it you’ve dwindled away an hour of your time, but you’re feeling recharged. NOW YOU ARE READY TO ENGAGE. Except now your spouse is busy and doesn’t have time for YOU and your kids are off playing, or at a friends house.

What do you think that does to your relationship?

Lifestyle website YourTango.com polled 100 mental health professionals and found that communication problems are the most common factor that leads to divorce (65 percent), followed by couples’ inability to resolve conflict (43 percent).

Want to stay more connected to your spouse but don’t want to lose your sanity? Follow this basic trick to help you see how putting your spouse first can be the best medicine for that crummy day. (And if it’s not, at least you’ll be able to go back to mindless stuff afterward)

I call it Thirty for Three, Three for Thirty and here’s how it works:

Thirty for Three – If you are separated from your significant other for more than three hours – you owe them thirty uninterrupted minutes .

Three for Thirty – As soon as you are in each other’s company again you must make it a point to be within three feet of each other, for thirty minutes.

A couple things to point out:

  1. These 30 minutes of time do not add up – you do not get an hour for six hours of separation – it only applies if you’ve been apart for three hours or more.
  2. If it isn’t possible to be within three feet of your spouse the minute you see them again, you can schedule it for later in the day, but remember: the success of the exercise weighs heavily on whether or not you are around each other the minute you are together again.
  3. I should mention: these 30 minutes should be TV, Computer, and Phone free – just you and your significant other – uninterrupted.
You can use these thirty minutes to talk about vacations, dreams, jokes you heard, things you’ve wanted to tell your spouse but just haven’t found the right time. Tell them how much they mean to you, show them how much you care.

Image Courtesy of https://www.flickr.com/photos/126193407@N07/

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